From Hotel Nights with My Mother

"I let them give me any excuse and I took it..."
Choose your battles?
They ask me what I mean.
Why do I get trouble when she gets off scott free?
I can’t tell them
that I’m afraid of losing her.
They don’t know her mom’s on drugs.
If they heard the hate that she hears
they would understand.
I tell her she looks pretty
even if she violates dress code...
I know it’s too short,
but she’s got nothing else.
The kids have told me that they know that
I’m afraid her...
but I wish they knew
that I’m afraid of what might happen
if I don’t have her?...
...or possibly, if she
could no longer hear me say
“you look pretty”?
So I rethink--
Afraid? Yes...
What if their mom is on drugs?
What if they DO hear
the hate that she hears?
How can I choose my battle
when I don’t now--
I can’t know--
what they are all battling...
And even though it’s often hard,
I continue, to choose my battles...
So I make up an excuse
and pray that they'll take it...